Can I be honest for a minute? Sometimes, I get really tired of hearing cliche comments about the size of my family.
I have to admit that I have struggled with offense in the past due to the ignorant comments I (and my children) hear about the number of kids I have. Especially because almost always, these remarks are stated right in front of my children as if they either can't hear, can't understand, or their feelings don't matter. Mama bear comes out, and sometimes she isn't so politically correct. Sometimes I imagine what might happen if I responded in the same way that they ask.
"Why yes, we do have a TV... But if you're trying to tell me that your TV is more exciting than your sex life, I'd say you're not doing it right. Maybe you should talk about that with your therapist or a marriage counselor rather than a stranger at Sam's club, though. :)"
"No, they aren't all mine - they tell me they just follow me around because their real parents don't like children. Say - Is one of them yours?"
"Yes, I believe each one of them was planned. Why? Which one did you presume was the mistake?"
And one that I read on a blog recently that made me laugh out loud...
(Exclaim loudly) DING DING DING! Congratulations! As the ten billionth person to make this clever remark, you are a winner! As your prize, please accept this delicious baby.
Yes, these are laughable comebacks, and I've finally come to a place where I can just smile and laugh it off when I hear things like this. (And with 4 children, we hear this a whole lot more often than you might believe). But honestly, not long ago it was very difficult not to feel angry or offended by such ignorant remarks - often from perfect strangers. I'd feel more like throwing down or throwing up on the person that says it rather than laughing. One time when a man asked if I knew there was "something I can take to prevent that" i responded by asking him to look at my children and let me know which one he suggests that I should have prevented, and to please clarify if he was implying that my children are some kind of a disease we should be immunizing ourselves against. Of course he was quite speechless and apologetic, and ran off with his tail between his legs. It felt good at the moment, and I was glad my children knew I would stand up for them. Maybe I did protect them, but I also displayed a whole lot of ugly pride and not a lot of grace for that man, which I later had to apologize to my kids for. After all, he is a product of our culture. Our supposedly very "tolerant", "progressive", "politically correct" culture that embraces everything as long as it has nothing to do with laying down your own life for another. 4 kids? On purpose? If it happens to a mom by accident, that's one thing. Then she's a hero and a martyr. 2 is socially acceptable. If they've got 2 of the same gender and they try for one more to try to get that girl or boy they don't have, that's acceptable. If there's an "oops", she's pitied and patted on the head. But if they plan it? Now that's just crazy.
Everywhere I go with my children, I always get SOME comment or another. Not always snarky - in fact, we are now known at Sam's club, where several of the sales assoiates know me as the Mama with all the helpers. They started saying it in a patronizing tone, but now they say it in sincerity. I really do have some wonderful helpers, and I really do enjoy them. Most of the time, wherever we end up going, I'm sure to hear "you sure have your hands full!" - I just smile now, and answer "Yes, full of good things! " :) Whether they mean it negatively or not, I know that "full" is a positive term. The alternative is 'empty', and I am thankful that my hands are not empty.
The Bible says that children are a blessing. I do not think that means everyone must have 20 children, but I believe whether you have 1 or 4 or 12 or 20 they are each incredible, amazing, unique and priceless gifts. They are human beings, and I have the incredibly scary and yet absolutely awesome opportunity to help them on their journey to adulthood as individual men and women who have the potential to make an impact in this ignorant, sad and lonely world - by giving them love and showing them that they are not only accepted, but truly wanted.
When I drop my pride and keep that in mind, being reminded that we have lots of them can actually keep me thankful rather than annoyed or offended. We are not living our lives for the blind people at the grocery store who call evil good and good evil. Ultimately they will get things backward and that is to be expected. Thank God we are His, our children are His, and He has entrusted them to us! I just have to remind myself that it doesn't matter if a blind person mistakes my precious gems for heavy rocks. I know their value and THEY know that I know it, and that's what matters! Just thought I would share my thoughts with anyone that might benefit from them, and to get the opportunity to say publicly that I am extremely thankful to our Lord (the creator of Heaven and Earth, and my savior Jesus Christ) for gifting us with the privilege of loving, raising and enjoying these 4 amazing individuals.
God is good! :)
